


Universal Messages

by Owlwithafringe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Cliche, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Handcuffed Together, Humor, M/M, Trapped In A Closet, True Love's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-26 21:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6256747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owlwithafringe/pseuds/Owlwithafringe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four times Sam and Gabriel acted out rom-com cliches (because the Universe is trying to tell them something).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Universal Messages

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gabe-Trash (WardenQueen666)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WardenQueen666/gifts).



> Happy birthday to the wonderful **[Char](http://gabe-trash.tumblr.com/)**. I'm so sorry this is so late. I suck, I know. I hope you had a wonderful birthday though and I just want you to know that I think you're a wondrous human being and I adore you. Thank you for being so fantastic. You deserve the world, but sadly I can only offer you this fic. Much love to a lovely person.  <3

Sam Winchester’s entire existence seemed like it was a never ending cycle of bullshit, idiocy, and horrifically bad luck. In short, Sam Winchester was not a happy bunny. Hunter. _Whatever_.

 

A peaceful life of course would be too much to ask for, and Sam never expected to have one. Not whilst he had ‘the Righteous Man’ as a brother (Oh man, he _felt_ those sarcastic quote marks – those Angels hadn’t grown up with ‘the Righteous Man’ putting Nair in their shampoo, or have him sleep with their prom date. On prom night.), a weirdly intense nearly fallen angel with a fondness for bees who may or may not be in love with previously mentioned ‘Righteous Man’, and an Archangel turned Trickster God with an unhealthy appreciation for candy and making the twice previously mentioned ‘Righteous Man’ turn red with rage, by his side.

 

Despite all that, Sam felt like every once in a while he should be cut a break. He wasn’t asking for a house in the suburbs, nothing like that. But he wouldn’t exactly oppose the universe acting like it wasn’t out to get him.

 

Naturally ‘the universe’ heard his wish, considered it, and then promptly decided to do completely the opposite. Because that’s just how Sam’s life was.

 

It just took a while for Sam to realise that ‘the universe’ was trying to tell him something.

 

 

**. . . . .**

 

 

1) Handcuffed Together Cliché

 

“Can’t you just pick it? You’ve been around since before locks existed, shouldn’t you be able to whammy it or something?”

 

“Whammy it?” Gabriel repeated slowly, an eyebrow rising. “Sure, because the angelic warded handcuffs one weakness would be, oh I don’t know, angelic ‘whammy’. Thank Dad you’re here, I never would have thought of that otherwise.”

 

“I hate demons.”

 

“You’re preaching to the choir here, kiddo.” Gabriel agreed. “Irritating little buggers.”

 

“So I guess we’re stuck together until we find a way to get these things of huh?” Sam asked, a little apprehensively. Being handcuffed to a guy whose only hobby was pulling pranks spelled trouble and being attached to another person wasn’t exactly the way he had wanted to spend his evening.

 

“I can’t help it Sambo, I just can’t seem to let you go. I wish I knew how to quit you.” Gabriel replied seriously, wide eyes and trembling lips and all.

 

“Seriously, Brokeback Mountain?” Sam snorted, “Like this situation isn’t weird enough?”

 

“Hey, you were the one who got the reference. Besides, I thought you might appreciate it since your brother’s got the whole repressed gay cowboy vibe going on.”

 

“Please don’t make me think about that.” Sam grimaced. “C’mon, let’s go check out the library. If there’s an answer, it’s in there and no offence but I don’t want to be stuck like this any longer than we need to be.”

 

“Why? You got plans with that hand tonight? Don’t worry, if we’re still cuffed, I won’t look. Unless you want me to that is.”

 

Sam sighed deeply. He could feel a headache coming on and moved his hand to massage his brow, only for Gabriel’s hand to follow because of the cuffs.

 

It was going to be a long evening.

 

 

**. . . . .**

 

 

2) Locked Together In A Closet Cliché

 

“Watch where you’re sticking your arm.” Sam hissed at Gabriel, trying to rearrange his limbs so they were as far away from the other man as he could humanly get them. Which, in the tiny space they were in, wasn’t very far. He felt Gabriel move and winced as something that suspiciously felt like a kneecap hit him in the junk. “Damn it Gabriel, that’s my crotch!”

 

“Oh I’m sorry,” Gabriel replied in the least apologetic voice possible, “let me just move over to the Olympic swimming pool sized room that’s right behind me. _Oh wait, there isn’t one_. Besides, I know quite a few people who’d be overjoyed, no scratch that, _grateful_ that I am anywhere near their crotch area.”

 

“Don’t take it out on me, it’s hardly my fault that we got shoved in this cupboard by that damn shifter. I’m human, what’s your excuse?”

 

“I’m having an off day, ok.”

 

“No shit.” Sam snorted. There was a beat of silence before Sam spoke again, his tone more serious. “Dean and Cas’ll figure out what happened soon. They’ll come and get us out of here in no time.”

 

“I wouldn’t bet on it.”

 

“I trust Dean and Cas with my life. They’ll figure it out. Hopefully _before_ the shifter comes back to kill us.”

 

“Like I said, I wouldn’t bet on it. And if you tell me to ‘have a little faith’ I’m gonna stick my foot so far up your ass that my toes’ll be chilling out with your teeth.” Gabriel’s voice changed, practically turning into a purr. “Besides what’s the rush to get out? I’m starting to think you don’t enjoy spending time up close and personal with me.”

 

“I can think of at least five other people I’d rather be stuck in this closet with. Your brother for starters.”

 

“Which brother?”

 

“Any of them.” Sam deadpanned.

 

“Ouch Samberella, that hurts.” Gabriel replied sarcastically. Sam rolled his eyes even though he knew it was too dark for Gabriel to see it. “C’mon Sammy, live a little, this is our opportunity.”

 

“Opportunity? To do what?” Sam asked hesitantly, fearing the answer a little.

                                                                                   

“To have our bromantic moment.” Gabriel responded eagerly, and Sam for the life of him could not tell if it was a very elaborate joke or if Gabriel was actually being serious. “Step aside Destiel, it’s the time of Sabriel.”

 

“Sabriel? As in Sam slash Gabriel? Oh god, the fangirls, they got to you too?”

 

“Think about it. The two of us alone, trapped together in a very small space.” Gabriel’s voice lowered so it was husky. Sam could feel a foot beginning to trace its way up and down his leg teasingly, causing a hot blush across his cheeks. “It’s every teenage girl’s wet dream. _Anything could happen_.”

 

Suddenly the closet door swung open (and the offending foot dropped from Sam’s leg), revealing the concerned and slightly bloody face of Dean Winchester, with Castiel peering in from over his shoulder.

 

“Dean!” Sam exclaimed in relief. “Oh thank god.”

 

“I don’t think god had anything to do with it Sammy.” He paused, looking Sam up and down. “You ok Sam? You look a little red.” Dean asked, big brother mode apparently activating.

 

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” Sam assured him, “It was just a bit hot in there.”

 

“It sure was.” Gabriel agreed, winking.

 

Sam felt his blush deepen, and hurriedly pushed past Dean and Cas, their confused and speculative stares following him as he went. 

 

 

**. . . . .**

 

 

3) Fake Relationship Cliché

 

“Pass the sugar please honey bear.” Gabriel asked with a sickly sweet smile.

 

Sam glared at him with as much venom as he could muster, and shoved the sugar in Gabriel’s direction with tones of passive aggression. “I hate you so much.”

 

“I know you don’t mean it snookums, since that’s not what you were saying last night.” Gabriel winked as he manoeuvred another three spoonfuls of sugar into his coffee. Sam felt his heart give a little palpitation just from the sight of all that sugar. “Anyway, we’re supposed to be madly in love right? And that homophobic bitch, sorry I mean _witch_ , is watching us right now, so stop looking like you want to stab me and try and look a little more like you want to get in my pants.”

 

The waitress that had served them earlier stopped by their table, smiling down warmly at the two men, interrupting Sam’s attempts to murder Gabriel with just the power of his mind. “Can I get you boys anything else, perhaps a refill?”

 

Gabriel grinned widely at her, reaching over and clasping Sam’s hand in one of his own in a display of faux affection. “You’ll have to ignore my grumpy giant here. Didn’t get enough sleep, if you know what I mean. I’ll have another round of pancakes with extra syrup please. What you about you sugar lips?”

 

Sam tried not to let himself react to the double entendre but he could feel a flush travelling up his neck. He painted on a smile for the waitress but it felt more like a grimace to Sam and judging by the waitress’s raised eyebrow, it probably looked like it too. “Uh, I’ll just have another coffee please.”

 

“Sure thing honey,” The waitress replied, “Coming right up.” She started to move away but then paused and turned back to the table. “I hope you boys don’t mind me saying, but it’s lovely to see a young gay couple so open with their love, it really warms my heart.”

 

“It’s no problem at all,” Gabriel proclaimed, “Ever since I laid eyes on this moose of a man, I knew it was true love. I just want to shout it from the rooftops, have a plane write it in the sky! Love shouldn’t be hidden, especially a love as strong as ours.”

 

Sam rolled his eyes, but tried to look at Gabriel fondly, like he was a man slightly embarrassed by his boyfriend’s blatant affection but loved him nonetheless. The waitress didn’t seem cowed by Gabriel’s enthusiasm; in fact she looked a little charmed by it.  “That’s lovely to hear. I’ll be right back with those pancakes and coffee.”

 

As she walked away, Sam shook his head with a mixture of disbelief and amusement. “Laying it on a bit thick there Gabe?”

 

“I’ve got to be convincing that I’m ass over tits in love with you, right?”

 

Sam groaned but couldn’t help but smile. “Have I told you I hate you yet today?”

 

“Love you too Samshine.” Gabriel winked. “Now shut up and pretend to be in love with me. The witch is heading our way.”

 

 

**. . . . .**

 

 

4) True Love’s Kiss Cliché

 

“Seriously? Are you actually fucking kidding me right now?” Sam protested, border lining on hysterical. “This has to be trick, right? This can’t actually be happening right now, this is Gabe playing a trick on us.”

 

“No Sam.” Castiel replied, blue eyes solemn and sincere. “This is not a trick.”

 

“Why can’t Dean do it?” Sam asked, glancing at Dean who was laughing hysterically and had been laughing since Castiel told them how to stop the curse that had been placed on Gabriel earlier that day.

 

“Because it has to be _you_ , Sam.”

 

“Yeah Sammy,” Dean choked out between laughs, “You’ve got to wake Sleeping Beauty with true loves kiss.”

 

“You’re dead to me.” Sam declared flatly to Dean, “I hope you choke on pie.” This however, just seemed to make him laugh even more. _Asshole_. Sam sighed deeply and turned back to Cas. “Are you sure it’ll work?”

 

Castiel nodded. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes were wide and pleading for him to save his brother. There was only one person Sam could think of that Cas could’ve learnt those puppy eyes from. He hated it when his own moves were used against him.

 

“Ok then.” Sam said at last. “But if I do it, then we’re never talking about it again. And I want you and Dean somewhere else. Anywhere but here.”

 

Cas nodded again and put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Of course. Call us when it is done.” They disappeared, leaving Sam alone with an unconscious Gabriel and a whole lot of reservations about the whole situation.

 

Sam took a seat on the bed, sitting next to Gabriel. _Well. Here goes nothing._ Sam leant in and quickly pecked Gabriel on the lips, nearly falling off the bed in his hurry to retreat back to ‘safe’ space.

 

Gabriel’s eyes blinked open and he sat up, looking around with confusion, before quickly zoning in on Sam. “Samalam, what are you doing here?” He paused, touching his lips. “Wait, has someone been kissing me? Hang on, what?”

 

He turned to Sam, realisation painting his face as the memories leading up to the moment he was cursed flooded back. “Did you?”

 

“Yup.”

 

“Where’s-“

 

“Hopefully on the other side of the planet.”

 

Gabriel nodded, before flinching at the movement. Apparently the curse had done a bit more of a number on him than he’d originally thought. There was a beat of silence and then,

 

“Do you find it strange?” Sam asked.

  
“Find what strange?”

 

“That we keep ending up in these situations?”

 

“What situations? I’m not really following you here kiddo.”

 

“Well you know; being locked in a closet together. Faking dating. True freaking loves kiss to wake you from a curse? It’s like we’re stuck in a Disney movie.” Sam paused and considered it. “Or a rom-com. It’s like the universe is trying to tell us something.”

 

“What it’s it trying to tell us?” Gabriel mused, eyes twinkling with humour. “That we should be having passionate, hot, wild monkey sex?”

 

“Well, I wasn’t gonna phrase it like that. But yeah. I feel like that’s what it’s trying to tell us.”

 

Gabriel’s smirk dimmed a little, caught off guard by Sam’s truthful answer. Then he looked over Sam, head to toe, unabashedly staring. “Well, it’s not like you’re exactly unattractive. In fact it’s the complete opposite. For a moose, I mean.” He shrugged, and grinned at Sam. “I’m game if you are.”

 

“It isn’t a no.” Sam replied slowly, as if he was testing the words to see how he felt. Apparently satisfied that they weren’t the complete opposite of what he wanted, he didn’t attempt to correct them.

 

“Well that’s more than my brother ever got out of you. I’ll take what I can get.”

 

Sam gaped at him before laughing in disbelief, “You’re an asshole.”

 

“It’s why you love me.”

 

Sam smiled but didn’t say anything. He didn’t, not yet. But apparently the universe thought maybe one day he could. And who was he to argue with the universe?

**Author's Note:**

> I think we all know who 'the universe' is. ;)
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos and comments, feedback is always appreciated and motivates me to write more! Come and find me on Tumblr at **[Owlwithafringe](http://owlwithafringe.tumblr.com/)** , to see updates on fics or to leave me a prompt - or feel free just to send me a message and chat about Sabriel. :)


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